Suicide Letter......

Dear Self,

I give up. I have been trying so hard and never seem to reach the goals i have set for you. I have failed you. I am not satisfied with the results that i have given you. I am angry. As i sit here and try to figure this life out, i become stressed. You deserve better. The depression i have caused you is unfair. I write plans for the future but the present is keeping you from moving forward. I prayed this morning for better days but God didn't answer. So i wrote this to tell you i was done. But when i woke with every intention to leave this letter, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest. The pain was gone. I heard a voice say, "It is done." I could feel God. I could hear God. I asked God why he allowed these things to happen, He said, "Son, you have forgotten me. You didn't trust me. But i never left you." You ever feel like you are at the end of the rope? Like no one understands and you just can't get it right. Some of us go through things that feel like death. Just remember, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. A lot of times we beat ourselves up because we are not where we wannna be. Like we stuck with no direction. We try everything to figure out the issue, the problem. But we tend to forget God in the situation. The bible says, "Indeed, we felt within ourselves that we had received the sentence of death, but that was to keep us from trusting in and depending on ourselves instead of on God Who raises the dead." God puts us through some real storms and test, sometimes at the brink of death, so he can raise us from the dead. My pastor, my frat Brother Eli Johnson said, "Someone had to die, so you could live." I will like to add my own spin on that. YOU HAD TO DIE, SO YOU COULD LIVE..... Some of us have to commit self suicide, so we can be raised from the dead by GOD. (PS: Not a real suicide letter LBVS)

Prayer:
Lord, into your hands I commit my life. For it is your business, not mine. You know every struggle of this life. Thank You for caring for me. Teach me to treat all that comes to me with gratitude, thanks giving and your will govern all the decisions i make. Amen